Days 20 & 21: Oh, the Misery I Have Lived

These past two days have been the worst! I’ve gone all week without being able to evacuate my bowels. I’m in complete misery. Tuesday was just like sleepwalking. I barely noticed anything at all. When you are feeling as badly as I was, there is absolutely nothing that can make you forget.

Denny was sweet. He felt really bad for me. While I was working all day and feeling like an over-filled water balloon, he was enjoying his time off but wanted to help me get done all that I needed to get done. He offered to help me do all the cooking for the kids’ parties, which was helpful.

I ended up making a couple of batches of muffins and the ham. Then Denny made a beautiful chocolate pie. I was so grateful for his help. I was not in the mood to be around so much food.

Aiden's kindergarten class performing their Thanksgiving songs for all the parents (so cute!)

I resorted to eating Fiber Plus bars this week. I was becoming more desperate by the hour. The days kept coming but my bowels seemed blocked. I was trying anything to get things going. I drank lots of water hoping that would help. I ate bread. I know, not part of the plan, but something had to be done. I even had some whole grain Kashi Creamy Hot Cereal hoping to move things along. Nothing was working and my appetite was severely affected. Everything felt backed up. I wanted to cry.

The ginormous Kindergarten spread. What a feast!

Wednesday came and I was able to make it to Aiden’s classroom party. What a spread! There was turkey, ham, stuffing, green bean casserole, two types of sweet potatoes, macaroni and cheese, banana bread, pumpkin pie, chocolate pie and plenty of bread and gravy. It was quite impressive. It looked like Thanksgiving dinner at any of my family’s holidays. Very nice.

The turkey...or at least what's left of it. Yummy!

I completely indulged in all the fare. I didn’t hold back from anything. I ate as if I was never on the DSP. I was feeling miserable and I wanted to enjoy the lovely treats everyone had brought. Plus, maybe if I eat with abandon my insides would let loose of whatever it was they were holding onto. So, I just ate.

I didn’t eat a crazy amount or anything, I just didn’t pay attention to the carbs or proteins I was choosing. For me, proteins are my favorite, so I never really have to worry there. But I had the dressing and the mac and cheese and I chose them without guilt. And I enjoyed the flavors of the foods. The Turkey Dinner was a big hit.

The afternoon party in my classroom was more about sweets. Cookies, cupcakes, Kinder eggs, and even some chips and punch. I made pumpkin chocolate chip muffins and banana chocolate chip muffins. They were a hit with the kiddos, but I still had several leftover to bring home. Which was fine because Aiden helped me make them the night before and was more than happy to help finish them off.

The week had been long even though it was only three days. But when you feel like crap everything becomes a struggle. After school, I believe I reached my breaking point. I headed to the BX to find a solution. It hadn’t happened on its own and now I was out of patience. I went straight to the pharmacy aisle to find what I was looking for. And there it was, quietly sitting on the bottom shelf…the enema.

You know you’ve come to a low point when you find yourself  lying on the rug in the bathroom, disrobed from the waist down, with your butt sticking straight up in the air and sex is not in the scenario.  But, as the saying goes, desperate times calls for desperate measures. And that’s where I was.  When you would rather give yourself an enema than anything else, you’re totally at that place.

Thankfully, within an hour (though it shouldn’t have taken that long) I finally started to feel relief. Thank you, thank you, mister enema inventor, for making that possible. What a horrible week. What a horrible dilemma. But at least it was done and hopefully tomorrow would be a much better day. I hope so…tomorrow is Thanksgiving and we have some great plans in store.

To a healthier, happier and longer life.

About Jodie M Cordell

I am a military spouse and a freelance writer/copywriter. I love to write and fill my time writing for both pleasure and profession. I specialize in advertising and marketing but have a passion for food, nutrition and health. I spend my free time writing about the wonderful things I learn regarding food and nutrition and enjoy sharing all the things I find with others. View all posts by Jodie M Cordell

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