Well, it’s the beginning once again. I had a really good day on my first day. I hardly even noticed how hungry I was (wink!) Seriously, it went well. The first day is always the hardest.
The sweet smells and tastes of the previous days still linger in the mind and on the tongue. While munching away on lettuce and egg whites, I was still remembering the au gratin potatoes and filet from New Year’s Eve. And of course, while I sipped hot tea on the sofa I dreamed of my usual sweet German wine.These are the thoughts of a reluctant dieter and can lead to sabotage if left unchecked. But I stood my ground and held firm.
I actually had a really packed day. I didn’t plan it that way, but it ended up being eventful. I had a session scheduled with my physical therapy doctor – the first for my hip injury. But I was met with resistance. Surprise! He told me that there was nothing he could do for me. He asked me hadn’t I already done months of physical therapy for this injury…and I told him I did four months back in 2008 to no avail. And that’s when he told me, “then there’s nothing more I’m gonna be able to do for you.” He also said, “there’s no way you have bursitis…it goes away after a while. It doesn’t last for three years.” And that’s when he looked more carefully at my file.
He scoured through my MRI and the notes my original doctor (bastard) wrote – tear in the tendon of gluteus medius with hint of minor bursitis at the site. A diagnosis I had never heard before…written in early 2008. I was stunned, confused and very soon after, quite pissed off. I now know that my stupid neurologist knew all along that no matter what therapy he threw at me none of it would make the pain stop. It’s a tendon tear that needs to be repaired…by an orthopedic surgeon. He never referred me to one and I never got the medical attention I needed to take away the pain.
I just keep thinking of the last three years that I’ve lived every single day with pain that I would not have had. Of all the lost time, the extra weight I’ve been battling since having all the needless steroid injections. I just had another one four weeks ago and already gained an extra 10 lbs back…again. Every time I got a steroid shot I gained an average of 10 lbs each time. I keep thinking, “it could have been so different.” And I just get mad all over again. What an ass.
So, my wonderful PT doctor referred me, at long last, to an orthopedic specialist. I just got an appointment scheduled for next week…on my birthday. I’m nervous and excited at the same time. I just hope that the damage isn’t too bad that I’m at the point of “pain management” by now. I just pray that it’s still fixable and I can have it done pretty soon. The sooner I get it repaired, the sooner the healing process can begin. And then, someday, maybe I will be able to walk without the pain again.
We are planning on our trip this summer to Texas to visit my favorite people in the world. I want to be over the hardest part of rehab by the time we leave.
I will probably have an ugly scar on my hip, but I don’t care. I just keep thinking of all the exercises I will be able to do again…like those long bike rides I used to go on. All the kick-boxing I used to do. And the Zumba!! I have my Zumba class tonight and I’m very excited. It will be even better once I’m able to Zumba pain-free.
It’s been a long three years living with and tolerating the pain in my hip and leg. It’s going to be a lot nicer to envision an end to the journey. I just have to be careful not to stop moving while I’m in recovery. I have to keep moving if I’m going to lose this weight. And speaking of…
Back to the goal: I weighed myself to re-start my program. The results were devastating, to say the least. I’m a lot further away from my goal than I first thought. Here are my current stats…
- Weight: 152.2 lbs
- Body fat: 42%
- Water: 42.3%
- Bone: 4.4 lbs
I have a long battle ahead, but I can do it. My goal is to lose 5 lbs of body fat per month in the next six months.That will put me at approx. 120 lbs by the time we head back to the States.
- Weight: 120 lbs.
- Body fat: 22 %
Obviously, I’m following a program. I am following the Diet Solution Program again. I’m starting with the 14 Days to a Sexy Body plan that kick starts the DSP. In this plan you follow the pre-planned meals for 14 days. From there, you can go to the Quick Start Guide which also contains some pre-planned meals, as well as some substitutions and replacement ideas. I’m sticking to a much more regimented diet this time around instead of just picking things off of the big list. I’m hoping that the combinations designed by Isabel will work better for me than my own sloppy approach.
So far, I’ve felt pretty great…a little sluggish, which is to be expected no matter what program I start. I’m cutting down on calories. There is always a natural adjustment to the new lower calorie intake. So, by Wednesday I should be doing just fine.
I’m eliminating simple sugar from my diet altogether. I’ve ordered a few bags of Fructevia, which is a Stevia blend that looks and tastes like sugar but twice as sweet. It has worked great for me so far in baked bread, corn bread, tea, coffee, cookies and a whole list of others things I’ve made with it. It’s wonderful!
Of course, I’ve resolved to not have any wine through the entire month of January except the Saturday after my birthday. That is the day that will mark the end of my first 14 days and the day we will celebrate my birthday with a celebratory “cheat” day. After the month of January, I will be regulating my alcohol intake to one glass per week.
I’ve also vowed to workout AT LEAST three days per week. I want to do more since we have the Wii now with Wii Fit. I’ve done it several times since Christmas and it’s not a lot of exercise (I’m hoping it will get more intense with use, opening more difficult levels, etc.) but it really is a lot of fun! And my little guy likes to play on it, too!
That is my plan. It is set. I can do this. I have resolved to make it to my goal this year. I really just want to have my body back. I really miss all the fun I used to have with it!
To a healthier, happier and longer life!